Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
operation harelip BJ is a go
smell my finger.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
