hotel room ftw
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize