Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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