just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
