I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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