In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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