I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
