But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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