He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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