Pappa wants mamma naked
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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