i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
