Non-Jews are for practice
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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