i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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