i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
