tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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