Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
