So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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