So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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