Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize