It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize