Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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