Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
