Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
