We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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