I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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