if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize