remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
These tits shall not be calmed
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
