Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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