Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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