Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I currently don't understand fingers.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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