His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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