We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
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It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
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Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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