im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
