you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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