clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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