just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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