elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
