Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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