Kiss
Puke
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
