That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
