I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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