Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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