Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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