Small penises have feelings too.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize