I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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