I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
