lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
