This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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