I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
