Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I didn't notice because vodka
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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