when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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