One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
