that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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