So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
