if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
