Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
