He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
