mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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