Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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